Monday, November 23, 2015

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 8-10

Hello Thanksgiving Monday!! Are you coping with all the Holiday prep stress yet? There is A LOT to do this week that's for sure. BUT, before you jump elbow deep into a turkey cavity take a minute and read through this weeks chapters summeries of our Monday Morning Book Club The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst. This weeks discussion is brought to us by Dominique . This stunning mama of 4 BOYS, is so sweet and operates a small business out of her home. After the read I encourage you to go to her blog and check out her shop. 

Good morning! I am so excited to bring you the review of Chapters 8-10 in The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst. Before I begin, I have to be honest with you all. I started this book a few weeks ago. I got about 3 chapters in and didn't pick it back up until Saturday evening. I've developed a habit of waiting until the last minute. In fact, I pride myself on working well under pressure. As you know, I launched Parentees just 3 months ago. I wanted to start this business to allow myself the freedom to follow my passion, creating something that could potentially inspire others while remaining present in my boys' lives. I can't even begin to tell you how overwhelming it has been -- the amazing response from customers and the responsibilities involved. I wasn't ready for this, but I said YES because it was something I was passionate about. I don't for one second regret my decision, but I do wish I had taken a second to "Consider The Trade". Which brings me back to this life changing book. 

Chapter 8 - "Consider The Trade"
Lysa begins sharing a time where she watched a one of those TV shows where a professional goes about organizing someone's messy closet. She had the resistant client get rid of clothes she never wore in order to create space in her closet. Lysa reflected on her own closet and how the decision to release some clothes was to stressful to even consider taking on. If she gets rid of it then she may have a feeling of regret. I've never had a problem getting rid of things and not missing them whatsoever, but I do struggle with passing up opportunities! I'm an ambitious person and often feel like if I don't say YES to a person or project I may regret it. So, I will just say YES and figure it out later. I have literally invited stress in my life without a second thought.
After we have considered the trade of our time, resources, finances, and emotional energy then we must make a decision. Have you ever held back from doing something because you either don't know what's all involved or it just seemed like it was just too much? When we don't consider the trade chances are that we will procrastinate. "Not making a decision is actually a decision. It's the decision to stay the same." God gave us an amazing example through his son - Jesus and the Holy Spirit to guide us in our lives. Through prayer and the studying of His word we have all the resources to make these seemingly tough decisions. 

Chapter 9 - "Show Up To Practice"
After learning how to discern what to release and what to take on, we then get to learn how to develop this new skill. Lysa shares how her pole-vaulting teenage daughter went from consistently placing last to breaking a record for her high school. God gives us clear instruction on how to attain and use wisdom in Proverbs 2:1-11, which is essential for making everyday life choices. However, if we don't practice this daily then we will continue to fail or even worse, give up. When I'm at that point of giving up, I will find myself calling out to God, "Help me!" But, what if I had practiced wisdom as fervently as Lysa's daughter practiced her pole-vaulting? In the moments where I'm faced with seemingly tough decisions, I will already know what to do. On the occasions that I still don't know, then I can be still and ask for wisdom (James 1:5) instead of saying YES and then stressing out. 

Chapter 10 - "Managing Demands Means Understanding Expectations"
I'm a free spirit and highly ambitious person, so I tend to set my expectations high and simply follow the flow of life. I love this mantra and don't plan to change this part of me. However, I will only be happier and help others more effectively if I learn to release and trust God to guide me. 
Lysa posed 5 questions to ask yourself before making a commitment that I've paraphrased below:
  • It may feel thrilling to say yes now, but how will this feel later?
  • Do the expectations that will come from this yes feel forced or frantic?
  • Could this yes be tied to people pleasing?
  • Which wise people in my life think this is a good idea?
  • Are there any facts that I would try to hide when discussing this with my wise advisors?
For me, saying yes creates another opportunity to prove that I am capable and I am powerful. It always sounds amazing in my head, but it's just not realistic! I can't do everything and that's OK - it's more than OK! Releasing unrealistic expectations of ourselves is total freedom and happiness. I desire to be happy and make others happy, but the evaluation of expectations will eliminate frustration. Self-reflection is a humbling process, but it is essential to find out why you say, think and act the way you do. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.
Well, that's all I have to share with you for now. I am so glad that I was able to participate in hosting this book club, because I don't think I would have followed through with reading this book had I not. This is what I have learned and have already begun to apply to my life, but I'm sure it will be different for everyone. I would love for you to share your thoughts on the topics or what you have taken from reading The Best Yes.

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