This ones for April

As I waited in line at the post office to mail off some products to loyal customers today I met a calm, slender, studious young woman. I shyly commented on the Warby Parker box she held in her hands + we slowly exchanged enthusiastic commentary on our favorite frames + how the ones you think will be your favorite almost always turn out to be the biggest mistake for your face shape. Our conversation carried over to an exchange of how she adored my hat + my gentle confession 'it's from Target' made us squeal about how each of us favor Target's hats + share the same thinking about their sturdy construction.

Somewhere after she giddily shared with me that in March she's leaving for 27 months to join the Peace Corps with hopes to foster an understanding between the Ukrainian people + Americans. As she passionately explained to me her assignment within the education department she couldn't help but bounce up and down with joy + unconsciously kick her right leg up behind herself with emphasis on the good parts. As she spoke I couldn't help but cheese-illy smile along with her, with every word and breath her passion infected me. So much so that I began to feel as if I was going along on this adventure with her! Where's my bags?! It was near the end of our conversation, after my packages had been carefully delivered + payed for + our conversation was drawing its awkward close, that I realized it. 

He was with us. Not only was he there He was speaking to me, reiterating something gently to my spirit. 'When you seek me you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart'. You walk through days that seam ordinary and mundane but to me nothing is mundane, nothing is ordinary. I am with you in all of it + I have surprises around corners you wouldn't expect. I'm in the moments you pass by and I'm in the moments you choose to open. A simple hello or silly exchange can open up a door to heaven you've been asking to be opened. Lift your head lovely one and see that beauty is all around and its in the people I've created. There is good in this world and its in the heart of people. Unassuming everyday people all around us are on assignment to spread love + light + kindness making this world a better place. World changers are all around and we have the potential to connect with them everyday.  

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 17-19

Good Monday Morning everyone. Can you believe it's the last full week before CHRISTMAS???! You guys this month + year for that matter has flown by! You know what's also flown by? This book club! Today is our final chapter summary for The Best Yes. It's been fun + I've learned A LOT about myself + how to say yes in the BEST way. The girls from Simply Beaming have written this final summary for us. After the read head over to their blog for more information on how awesome they are! 

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Hi everyone! We are Kate an Kelli from the Simply Beaming Blog! We are reviewing the last chapters (17-19) of the book "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkeurst, and we were blown away by how much truth and wisdom she spoke in these pages. There were so many positive take aways we got from this book. We absolutely loved it! Find more from us over at simplybeaming.blogspot.com and on Instagram @simply_beaming. Thanks for reading along with us!

Chapter 17-“The Very Best Yes”

When we are in a state of vulnerability, it can leave us feeling empty and ready to make bad decisions. Lysa talks about her experience with her daughter, who is going through a break up with a boyfriend, and how her daughter turns to her during her weakest moments. Lysa states, “Together is what we need when we hit tough patches in life. Making decisions when life is making you cry shouldn’t be done alone. No matter what hard place we find ourselves in, feeling alone can make us vulnerable to bad decisions.” The way to make your decisions better and to steer away from those unwanted bad decisions is to go to your safe place and open your Bible. She also talks about leaning on people who you trust the most and who have been through what you are experiencing at that time.

In this chapter, she also describes how one of her college aged kids did something that stunned her to the point where she thought she was having a heart attack. As her thoughts began to race on how she was going to cancel one of her big speaking events, she opened her bible and read, “Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” She called another speaker who told her that she wasn’t alone and that we all walk through hurts and disappointments. The best way to be able to walk through trials in our lives is through wisdom. We gain wisdom not only through these hard times, but through Jesus Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the life. As Lysa states, “Wisdom is our silver lining.”

Chapter 18-“When My Best Yes Doesn’t Yield What I Expect.”

Do you ever do what is required, but your outcome isn’t what you expected. In the beginning of the chapter, Lysa describes how she put in the required money into the vending machine, but nothing comes out. She also talks about how you can do everything to lead your child onto the straight and narrow, but that doesn’t mean your child is going to behave the way you expect them too. When the unexpected happens, we should have it point out our strengths and not our weaknesses. It will gives us the opportunity to have “The Best Yes.” We can choose to become angry and frustrated or we can take baby steps into the right direction towards our “Best Yes.” I love how she describes a quote from Theodore Roosevelt, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.”

She goes on to tell that Roosevelt himself could have been paralyzed with the unexpected fear, but he continued on a path of perseverance. He was able to conquer the trial of his wife passing away from giving birth to their daughter, and an hour earlier, his mother passed away from typhoid fever in the same house. Grief can lead you onto a path of bad decisions and destruction, but by allowing God to take over your heart, you are telling Satan, “You picked the wrong woman to mess with this time.”

Chapter 19 –“We Make Choices. Then Our Choices Make Us.”

Lysa talks about how she is not a baker. If you were to go into her kitchen and look at your pans, you would know, she doesn’t do much baking, although she admires women who do. As she talks about her baking experiences. She goes on to say, “It’s not the activities or accomplishments we string together that make lives well lived as much as it is the hearts of wisdom we gain and use along the way. Every day we are making choices and decisions without hesitation. Then with those decisions, it will linger into our day lives, and continue to carry on throughout our lives.

By our choices and actions it can either be displayed or betrayed by our wisdom. She uses the verse, “Matthew 11:19 So let’s choose wisdom. Let’s use the two most powerful words, yes and no, with resounding assurance, graceful clarity, and guided power. Also people may see Jesus when they see us. Hear Jesus when they hear us. And know Jesus when they know us.” Our lives are to carrying out making the best decisions by using our “Best Yes” and our best filter. We will be a grand display of God’s Word lived out. Now let’s go and live the “Best Yes” life!

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 14-16

Good Monday morning dear friends, if you've been following along with our Monday morning Book Club I have had the pleasure of writing this weeks chapter summaries. I don't know about you but this book has been challenging my approach to the way I see an opportunity + how I respond to it. Happy reading + click over on my Instagram profile to the right ---> to get involved with our discussion.


Chapter 14: A Best Yes is Seen By Those Who Choose to See.
Be present and pay attention. There are Best Yes' being whispered, maybe yelled, in our minds and our ears every day. We have to choose to be tuned in to hear them. It is a matter of quieting your mind and tuning in to the Holy Spirit on a daily, moment by moment basis. I like to think of the impressions of the Holy Spirit as radio waves. They are around you RIGHT NOW, playing and filling the room. You can only hear them if you have a tuner that is plugged in, turned on and tuned in. I must make it a point DAILY to be tuned in to hear what He is already saying. "We want big directional signs from God.God just wants us to pay attention."

We often hear or think that Christians don't say no. This cannot be further from the truth. We must give ourselves permission to say no. A no isn't a rejection. A no is a BEST YES to something else. When you feel the difficulty of a no, picture the thing you can say your Best Yes to if you say no. Lisa, the author, asked on her social media account, "What decision are you having a hard time making right now?" The responses she got surprised her. The key is to focus on what is right in front of you, what you do know and the next step. Be in the moment. We often say yes when we shouldn't because we are concerned with what people will think of us which leads to a frantic, absent person. The author writes, "Great descriptions are birthed from great decisions." When we say no at the right time, give our Best Yes and live in the moment, we become our best selves.

Chapter 15: The Thrill of an Unrushed Yes.
Leave space in your life. Slow down. Relationships are about moments and those moments don't happen in a rush. Marriage, family and friends who are like family take time and moments. We live in a multitasking world. "Checking your email in the middle of creative work temporarily knocks your IQ down 10 points...We are not wired for multitasking." Some relationships may drain you, but the right ones spur you to greatness or even your destiny so be wise who you give your time to. 

"Conversational threads are what make up the fabric of relationships. We must take time - make time - to talk. Marriage is called "tying the knot". Every relationship has this in some aspect or another. It's not something just done at the altar, it's something we choose to do over and over again. An unrushed yes leads to us to these decisions and moments. The only way you are going to find an unrushed yes is to MAKE time and LEAVE SPACE.

Chapter 16: The Panic That Keeps You From Your Best Yes.
Panic NEVER SAVED ANYONE. Panic only leads to loss. Panic gives the sensation of drowning. Its not easy to begin to be a Best Yes person. Saying no.or yes, takes courage. Any time we are asked to be courageous our insecurities rare their ugly heads. Even if we think we are not insecure, we can find ourselves comparing or disqualifying our way out. "It works for them, not me." When we are drowning in our insecurities we often think or are told, "Suck it up. Get over it. Insecurity is just pride turned inward." Lisa writes, "That's like telling a person drowning to just swim harder." The same way the Holy Spirit's voice is like radio waves, our insecurities about ourselves are a song played by the enemy of our souls. Sometimes he just sings the first few lines and, like that hit on the radio, we pick up the rest of the song.

When we realize WHO and who's we are, our insecurities fade. Our security and significance comes from God alone. Our beliefs about ourselves and God are deeper than a thought we can easily articulate, they are a mindset that shapes our behavior and ultimately the environment around us. Our identity, found in Christ ALONE, determines our beliefs or mindset, which determines our thoughts, which determines our actions and emotions, which determines the environment we live in. When I CHOOSE to READ, SPEAK and HEAR the TRUTH of who He says I am, I turn off the radio station of the enemy and tune in to His Spirit. My spirit agrees with His Spirit and I sing His song of love and truth over my life. Lisa writes, "Just as our bodies need oxygen, our souls need truth flowing steadily in and out."

The song or voice you agree with gets the power and is amplified over your life. Who's song are you singing, the enemy's or The Holy Spirit's? What lies are you believing and how are they affecting your thought life, actions and environment? What TRUTH counteracts those lies and how can you choose to agree with that TRUTH and change the "song" that you are singing?

Bex

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 11-13

Good morning and happy Cyber Monday i'm feeling the post turkey madness hangover how about you?!
Here to take us back into some encouraging Monday morning routine is the sweet Carla from Heart in High Cotton. 
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Happy Monday, y'all! I hope you had the sweetest weekend with family, eating your favorite foods, and hopefully everyone in the family enjoyed an extra-long, tryptophan induced nap! :) 

I'm so glad you're here checking in for our weekly Monday Morning Book Club and I'm thrilled to get to guest post today!  For those of you who don't know me, let me introduce myself. I'm Carla and I blog over at Heart in High Cotton - mostly chronicling my adventures in motherhood, sharing my favorite Southern recipes, and the thoughts Jesus puts on my heart. I have two beautiful baby girls that keep me on my toes and fill my heart so full. I've been married to my ball-capped sweetheart for almost 5 years and I truly believe that because of Jesus' grace and mercy my heart is "in high cotton." This morning I'll share with you some highlights and takeaways from chapters 11-13 ofThe Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst. If you've been reading along you know this book has been a treasure packed with truth and encouragement for the weary mama's heart! 

Chapter 11: The Power of the Small No

The small (and big) no can be really hard, particularly for us Type A, people-pleaser personalities. It's an awful feeling when we believe our "no" will be a disappointment. Lisa suggests that even a "small no can be given in such a way that it becomes a gift rather than a curse." Proverbs 24:26, "[an] honest answer is like a warm hug." 

Two typical responses are to respond with a quick yes without tracing that 'river's path' or a defense mechanism of delay. Lysa very poignantly suggested that neither are necessarily a good way to respond. Earlier in the book we've looked at the peril of a quick yes without considering the cost. However, the issue of delaying cut straight to me. Oh, how I could identify with when she said, "we delay - as if delay will somehow make this request go away so we don't have to deal with it." Even if it is a small request/issue, a "no" can seem huge when it means feelings will be hurt or someone will be disappointed. I appreciated how Lysa suggested that delaying isn't just a defense mechanism but it's also unfair. It builds false hope, prevents other plans, and eventually makes receiving more difficult. Personally, I was encouraged that out of consideration for others I can purpose to resist delaying. 

I have loved how Lysa keeps each chapter balanced between determining the "best yes" while keeping in mind that saying no to everything doesn't work either. She duly noted that a "no! ninja, karate-chopping response" to everyone can result in suffering relationships. We can do great jobs, be nice, etc while remembering we can not take on every responsibility offered. 

In this chapter she also talks about "tracing the river." A metaphor for thinking long-term as it relates to making decisions. It's important that we don't jump into a raging river of demand without considering how consuming the metaphorical current will be. We should be people of faith, trusting God to lead us through those rivers but we should also be wise people listening to His calling. Maybe we aren't intended to jump in, but rather walk alongside the water, listening to His instruction. "We can't forget why we give small "no" answers. It's so we can have the white space and wherewithal to recognize God's assignments and give Best Yes answers to those."

Chapter 12: The Awkward Disappointment of Saying No

Bless her heart, Lysa begins this chapter with the description of a painfully awkward experience. However, she goes on to share that as uncomfortable as that situation was it was through the experience she was able to find her Best Yes appointment with God. Without a doubt there will be times when the pursuit for our Best Yes results in an awkward situation. No one really likes to be told no, but it's important to remember the reason we push through the awkwardness. Even if we have to repeat it out loud we must recite to our selves, "I will not let the awkward disappointments of others keep me from my Best Yes appointments with God." 

It's confidence and conviction in our Best Yes that helps us learn to graciously push past the awkward. And as always, our confidence and conviction must rest in God's Word. It has to be front and center. "We have to be thinking about it, be able to quote it. Refuse to let fear and discouragement hold us back." A perfect scripture to hold fast to is Joshua 1:7-9.

"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Chapter 13: But What if I say No and They Stop Liking Me?

This chapter cuts straight to the chase - that proverbial elephant in the room we've avoided calling out. People pleasing. Y'all, the struggle is so real on this one. Everyone wants to be liked. It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize no matter how hard you try, we cannot make everyone happy. 

Lysa creates the perfect case-study scenario for when a "yes" really needed to be a "no." I'd be willing to bet the scene or something similar has played out in each of our homes. She agreed to do something she knew was going to be stretch. She felt pressure for approval and subsequently her family endured the consequences. She found herself snapping at the children, arguing with her husband, and cleaning up a massive pile of soggy cereal on the kitchen floor as the guilt set in. Why did she get caught up in this? Why do the opinions of others matter so much? 

"So another mom will say thank you and maybe be impressed by your Rice Krispy treats for 5.3 seconds?" We must "resolve instead to make decisions based on what is realistic - not on trying to earn the approval of or impress another." 

Here's the thing, in healthy relationships, when you respond with a "no" the other party understands. She knows your heart and if you say, "no" there is more to the story or a good reason. Sure, you're there for her at other times- you just can't be there every single time. "If they push back when you say no, that's disrespectful on their part. And if you play along, it's dysfunctional on your part." That is not love. Y'all I can't stress this enough - there is no need to participate in dysfunction. It's unhealthy, unnecessary, and usually undetected. Simply put, "at the end of the day, a healthy relationship isn't void of service. Of course we must serve, love, give, be available, help, and contribute to the greater good. But we must have the freedom to say yes or no responsibly without fear of emotional consequences."

 Lastly, she talks about the strings that we attach to acts of service. If I do this, then I will get that. If I make sure this is done, then they will appreciate me. "[We] need to be able to say yes to something without presuming this yes will make a way for me to feel more, have more, or have more owed to [us.]"

 I pray that we can be women motivated by love and not fear. That we'd do what Jesus calls us to do and walk in freedom when He says in the quiet of our heart we need to sit this one out. 

What are some of the biggest things that impacted you as you read through these chapter? Please share your thoughts, responses or questions in the comments box below! I can't wait to hear how each of you are learning and growing as we walk through this journey together! Also, don't forget to hop on over and join us on Instagram for further discussion in our weekly #mondaymorningbookclub chat loop! Until next week, happy reading! 

With Love,

Carla 

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 8-10

Hello Thanksgiving Monday!! Are you coping with all the Holiday prep stress yet? There is A LOT to do this week that's for sure. BUT, before you jump elbow deep into a turkey cavity take a minute and read through this weeks chapters summeries of our Monday Morning Book Club The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst. This weeks discussion is brought to us by Dominique . This stunning mama of 4 BOYS, is so sweet and operates a small business out of her home. After the read I encourage you to go to her blog and check out her shop. 

                                                                                                                                                                      

Good morning! I am so excited to bring you the review of Chapters 8-10 in The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst. Before I begin, I have to be honest with you all. I started this book a few weeks ago. I got about 3 chapters in and didn't pick it back up until Saturday evening. I've developed a habit of waiting until the last minute. In fact, I pride myself on working well under pressure. As you know, I launched Parentees just 3 months ago. I wanted to start this business to allow myself the freedom to follow my passion, creating something that could potentially inspire others while remaining present in my boys' lives. I can't even begin to tell you how overwhelming it has been -- the amazing response from customers and the responsibilities involved. I wasn't ready for this, but I said YES because it was something I was passionate about. I don't for one second regret my decision, but I do wish I had taken a second to "Consider The Trade". Which brings me back to this life changing book. 

Chapter 8 - "Consider The Trade"

Lysa begins sharing a time where she watched a one of those TV shows where a professional goes about organizing someone's messy closet. She had the resistant client get rid of clothes she never wore in order to create space in her closet. Lysa reflected on her own closet and how the decision to release some clothes was to stressful to even consider taking on. If she gets rid of it then she may have a feeling of regret. I've never had a problem getting rid of things and not missing them whatsoever, but I do struggle with passing up opportunities! I'm an ambitious person and often feel like if I don't say YES to a person or project I may regret it. So, I will just say YES and figure it out later. I have literally invited stress in my life without a second thought.

After we have considered the trade of our time, resources, finances, and emotional energy then we must make a decision. Have you ever held back from doing something because you either don't know what's all involved or it just seemed like it was just too much? When we don't consider the trade chances are that we will procrastinate. "Not making a decision is actually a decision. It's the decision to stay the same." God gave us an amazing example through his son - Jesus and the Holy Spirit to guide us in our lives. Through prayer and the studying of His word we have all the resources to make these seemingly tough decisions. 

Chapter 9 - "Show Up To Practice"

After learning how to discern what to release and what to take on, we then get to learn how to develop this new skill. Lysa shares how her pole-vaulting teenage daughter went from consistently placing last to breaking a record for her high school. God gives us clear instruction on how to attain and use wisdom in Proverbs 2:1-11, which is essential for making everyday life choices. However, if we don't practice this daily then we will continue to fail or even worse, give up. When I'm at that point of giving up, I will find myself calling out to God, "Help me!" But, what if I had practiced wisdom as fervently as Lysa's daughter practiced her pole-vaulting? In the moments where I'm faced with seemingly tough decisions, I will already know what to do. On the occasions that I still don't know, then I can be still and ask for wisdom (James 1:5) instead of saying YES and then stressing out. 

Chapter 10 - "Managing Demands Means Understanding Expectations"

I'm a free spirit and highly ambitious person, so I tend to set my expectations high and simply follow the flow of life. I love this mantra and don't plan to change this part of me. However, I will only be happier and help others more effectively if I learn to release and trust God to guide me. 

Lysa posed 5 questions to ask yourself before making a commitment that I've paraphrased below:

• It may feel thrilling to say yes now, but how will this feel later?
• Do the expectations that will come from this yes feel forced or frantic?
• Could this yes be tied to people pleasing?
• Which wise people in my life think this is a good idea?
• Are there any facts that I would try to hide when discussing this with my wise advisors?

For me, saying yes creates another opportunity to prove that I am capable and I am powerful. It always sounds amazing in my head, but it's just not realistic! I can't do everything and that's OK - it's more than OK! Releasing unrealistic expectations of ourselves is total freedom and happiness. I desire to be happy and make others happy, but the evaluation of expectations will eliminate frustration. Self-reflection is a humbling process, but it is essential to find out why you say, think and act the way you do. Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

Well, that's all I have to share with you for now. I am so glad that I was able to participate in hosting this book club, because I don't think I would have followed through with reading this book had I not. This is what I have learned and have already begun to apply to my life, but I'm sure it will be different for everyone. I would love for you to share your thoughts on the topics or what you have taken from reading The Best Yes.

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 5-7

Good morning MONDAY!!! What's your morning like so far? Mine has already turned a bit nutz, I'm locked in the bathroom typing this out for its the only place of privacy at this point! Brooks woke up at 5:45 wouldn't go back to bed, screaming cranky children, cereal bowls crashing to the ground, technology failing to cooperate, yadda, yadda, yadda, all before 7am,the usual, right? Thank goodness for a quiet 10 minutes to pull up a chair, your hot cup of tea/coffee and enjoy this Monday Morning Book Club summery from BreAnna over at MomBeyondMom. She's created a pretty helpful place full of tips, recipes and reviews for every moms enjoyment. After the Book Club head over to her blog and check her out.
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Hello friends! I'm so excited to be this week's guest blogger for our review of The Best Yes, by Lysa TerKeurst. I will be reviewing Chapters 5-7. For those of you who don't know me let me introduce myself. I am BreAnna from MomBeyondMom, a blog about everything mom and beyond. I am a mom of two colorful girls, have the most amazing Mr and recently started my blog business which I am absolutely loving.

To say I am busy, is an understatement. I am constantly being pulled in a million opposing directions. I start most days with an agenda and plan, but through out the day new things get piled on and it feels as though I am constantly tackling the ever growing list of things "to-do." There has to be a better way. Right?

There is, and this book has been such a blessing to me. Especially during this season of my life. I don't want to look back and realize I missed God's calling, God speaking to me or even present time with my family because I was constantly tackling my list. I am so excited to embark on these next couple chapters to learn a few practical ways in which I can scale back and learn what is truly the best-yes for me and my life.

In Chapters 1-4, broken down by Kelsey of The Home Loving Wife, we came to the realization that having an overwhelmed schedule can lead to an underwhelmed soul. And let's face it, nobody wants that. Let's take a look at Chapters 5-7 and see if we can't come up with some ways to figure out what our best yes is!!

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 starts off with Lysa retelling the story of her struggling with the decision of whether or not to allow a friend to stay with her and her family. As she starts telling the story, I begin to feel like I am watching myself. In life I have always struggled with doing what I think "I should do" versus what I truly want to do or what I can handle. She goes on to explain that doing what you feel you "should do" leaves you with a very overwhelmed schedule, and I couldn't agree more.

To me the feeling of letting someone down or feeling as though I am not helping when I technically could, feels terrible. I would give of myself until I had nothing left. While I suppose that is a great quality, it often times leaves me feeling very depleted and my soul underwhelmed.

Once I began to have children and became a stay at home mother, this feeling only multiplied. I felt as though I had to be everything to everyone at all times. This usually left little to no time for myself. This is not a good recipe. Throughout the years I have learned that I have got to take care of myself and not put too much on my plate, otherwise I end up a wreck. And lets face it, if I am a wreck I can not take care of anyone else.

Lysa goes on to discuss how she has evolved the way she makes decisions. It's not a complicated process, but a process you can not skip when considering adding something to your plate. The next time you make a decision I suggest you ask yourself these 4 things:

1. Can this phsycially fit into my life?

2. Can this financially fit into my life?

3. Can this spiritually fit into my life?

4. Can this emotionally fit into my life?

"Whatever I do. In word or deed. My approach must honor Jesus." Meaning that everything you do must align with a Godly spirit. And if you honestly answer each of these questions you will be well on your way to honoring God and discovering what your best-yes is.

Chapter 6

So now you have made this decision that you want to make better choices for yourself. You have learned a few tools and questions to ask yourself when you are presented with a demand and once you do that you will be able to give the best-yes. But now what? How do you make this happen?

You chase it down. You constantly pursue. Nothing happens overnight, but you make small changes here and there and suddenly you have paved a way for change in your life.

Lysa says, "Show me a decision and I'll show you a direction," meaning that every decision you make helps shape the life you are living. If you keep using your tools/questions when you have to make a decision you are going to continue to keep choosing the best yes. And eventually, before you know it, it will be a habit for you. A habit to always choose the best-yes.

With all that being said, I think it is important to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect decision. There will always be pluses and minuses. You have to take the good with the bad. We will explore that more in Chapter 7.

Chapter 7

Lets take a look back to previous chapters where Lysa describes the agony she goes through when making the decisions and tries to understand why it is so hard for us to make decisions at times.

One of the main discussions in Chapter 7 has to do with fear and its paralyzing abilities. We fear we will make the wrong choice, so we try to avoid making one. That in itself is letting fear win. We have to remember that "failure is an error, NOT an end."

We have to understand that with every decision we make there will be some negatives that come along with it. There is no such thing as a perfect decision, only a best yes decision. Throughout the chapter she talks about five ways we can make a decision without letting fear have an effect on our decision making process.

1. Trusting in God by placing my desire under his order: If you trust God, there is no room for fear. You must understand that no matter the outcome, good or bad, God will use this for your journey. Every single "failure" has and will shape the person he has meant for you to become.
2. Analyze the decision: Decide what is best for you. Use the tools we have learned in the previous chapters to decide what is the best yes for you.
3. Make the decision: You have the tools. You have asked yourself the questions. Now you have arrived at the best yes for you. Pull the trigger, make the decision, do not let fear keep you from making the decision.
4. Own the decision: You made the decision, now own it. Good or bad? It does not matter because you did everything you possibly could to make the best decision for yourself.
5. Trusting God to work good even from the not-so-good parts: This is the tricky part. Just please remember to keep your faith and stay focused on God even through out the "bad" parts of your decision. Remember there is a bigger plan at work here. This is just a piece of the puzzle. You made what you thought was the best yes, now let God do the rest.

As I was reading these chapters I kept thinking of a scripture: "Faith without works is dead." I think this encompases all that these chapters speak to. We have got to do the work, learn tools and ways to decide the best yes for ourselves. THEN, have faith. Faith that God will take care of everything else.

It was wonderful to study these chapters with you all! I am so looking forward to next week's review of Chapters 6-9 and continuing to learn how to develop my best yes knowledge. Until then...

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes 1-4

Hey ya'll and happy Monday morning! Monday mornings usually get a bad rap but we're going to change that with this weeks encouraging highlights from our current read The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst. Kelsey from The Home Loving Wife  has this weeks summary ready to go for us and I for one am in complete need of this inspiring message. This sweet young mama of 4 bitty girls has a great perspective and positive outlook. After you've read through her takeaways I encourage you to hop on over to her blog and see what she's all about I know you'll be glad you did! Take it away Kelsey. 

                                                                                                                                                   

Happy Monday friends, and WELCOME to Week One of our brand spankin' new Monday Morning Book Club!! I'm so glad to have you joining us and can't wait to see how each of us grows throughout this journey. The best part is that we get to do it together! We have been reading through The Best Yes by the ever-inspiring and amazing Lysa TerKeurst and can I just say - WOW!!! Never has a book resonated so deeply within the core of who I am and spoken so directly to the struggles that I have been facing for years. Especially now, in this season of being a young wife, mama, homemaker and entrepreneur, there is never a shortage of demands or requests vying for my attention. I've always appreciated how transparent and real Lysa is when addressing the common challenges we women face throughout our lives. And let me tell you, she does not disappoint in The Best Yes. Here are some of the highlights and takeaways I'd love to share with you from Chapters 1-4.

Chapter 1: Check the Third Box

As Lysa shares a funny story about her daughter's lack of ability to make a decision when ordering from a drive-thru restaurant, I couldn't really relate to her daughter in that moment. I personally don't usually suffer from being indecisive. I'm actually a very decisive person usually - perhaps sometimes even impulsive! I typically know what I like, know what I want and have no problem communicating it. But, as I kept reading, Lysa wrote something that did grab me. She said, "It's not that she'll think what she ordered is bad, it's just that she'll feel the tension of realizing she missed the best choice." When it comes to the bigger decisions of life, how many times I have vacillated back and forth between many good options, crippled not by the fear of making a bad choice, but rather by the fear of not making the best choice. Because I don't just want to go through this life being "okay." I want to be the best, have the best, and do the best. Let's be honest - it's no fun to make a choice and then have "buyer's remorse" when we realize we don't really want what we chose. Or to realize that, had we waited, another better choice would have been waiting for us. So how do we learn to know just exactly what the best choices are? I'm hoping to discover the answer to this question as I read on.

Here's another golden nugget that pierced me through like an arrow when I read it. "I blindly live at the mercy of the requests of others that come my way each day. Every assignment feels like my assignment. You need me? You got me. Because I'm too scared or too cowardly or too busy or too something to just be honest and say, 'I can't this time." HOLY COW. This is me. All day, every day, all the time, with everyone. Granted, as my family has grown and I've become increasingly aware of my own limitations, this has started to become a bit less of a struggle. I have slowly begun to learn how to appropriately wield the word no and it has served me and my family well! But how do you navigate the choppy, unpredictable waters of raising several young children whose needs and demands are unending, and survive to tell the tale? I've noticed that even though I am truly blessed with an incredible husband who is more than willing to help carry the burden of caring for the kiddos and cooking and cleaning, etc - I still view all of those things as my jobs. They are my assignments and I constantly carry around that weight. It is exhausting. But why do I hold so tightly to everything? Why do I feel the need to control those areas of my life? Why is it so hard to accept that I am neither meant to, nor capable of doing and being everything? I have felt what Lysa poignantly describes happens when we are chronically too busy, particularly with tasks and assignments that are not our 'Best Yes' assignments. She writes, "The acid of overactivity eats holes in our souls. And from those holes leaks the cry of the unfulfilled calling that never quite happened." Weirdly, for the first few years of my motherhood journey I felt so amazingly fulfilled and like I was right where I was supposed to be, doing what I was meant to do. And I'm not sure when or how it happened, but one day a few years in, I woke up realizing that I wasn't happy anymore. I wasn't enjoying being a mommy. I no longer enjoyed doing the things I used to. I didn't feel motivated anymore. All I wanted to do was wake up, get through the day as unscathed as possible, then sleep away my discontent until I had to get up and do it all over again. I'm going to take a wild guess and say it probably had something to do with the fact that a) I was exhausted and b) I was always saying yes to everything and everyone except myself and God. Talk about getting things backwards!!

Chapter 2: The Way of The Best Yes

I don't know what kind of person you are, but I definitely know what kind of person I am. I am a rusher. People have commented all of my life at how fast I move. I am pretty impatient. I'm all about speed and efficiency and somehow figuring out how to cram more into less time. In a lot of ways this is a gift, but in countless other ways it is a curse. It can be very challenging for me to just sit and be. To stop and enjoy things fully, rather than hustle and bustle about from one thing to the next. Lysa made a great point when she said, "When all of life feels like an urgent rush from one demand to another, we become forgetful. We forget simple things like where we put our keys or that one crucial ingredient for dinner when we run to the grocery store. But even more disturbing, we forget God. We say with our mouth that we are trusting and relying on God, but are we really?" This really grabbed me. If I continue to allow myself and my schedule no room to breathe, what space is left for God to fill in me? I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes, "You can't pour out of any empty cup." I think it's time to be purposeful about leaving some empty space in my life, to be less rushed and more focused on the things that truly matter. Especially because, as Lysa shares, "It's in those little breaks in our companionship with God where confusion sets in about what we're really supposed to do." Oh boy, I have SO been there. Anytime I start to feel lost or confused regarding my direction, focus or purpose, I can usually trace it back to busyness having nudged my relationship with God out of first place. I can really see how it is my obedience (or disobedience!) to God's instruction that dictates whether I grasp His will for the direction I am to go in or not.

Chapter 3: Overwhelmed Schedule, Underwhelmed Soul

This section absolutely SLAYED me. Oh my. I could just quote the entire chapter right here, and leave it at that. But I won't do that to you - you'll have to go read it for yourself!! I love the story she shared of high jumper Dick Fosbury and how he achieved Olympic gold-medal success by approaching his sport with a different, new technique. She writes, "Here's the reality of our current technique: other people's requests dictate the decisions we make. We become slaves to others' demands when we let our time be dictated by requests. We will live reactive lives instead of proactive. And reactive lives get very exhausting, very quickly. If I want things about my life to change, it won't happen just by trying harder or dreaming more or even working myself to death. I have to change my approach to the way I make decisions. The same patterns will produce the same habits. The same habits will lead to the same decisions. The same decisions will keep me stuck. And I don't want to be stuck." Ladies - I don't want to be stuck either!!! I want to live a powerful life that is a testimony to God's glory and greatness. I want to make a difference in people's lives, but I also want to enjoy life and the blessings God has showered on me. I believe He wants both of those things for me as well - and YOU too! But here's the truth. "The decisions we make dictate the schedules we keep. The schedules we keep determine the lives we live. The lives we live determine how we spend our souls. So, this isn't about finding time. This is about honoring God with the time we have." Drawing from this, I plan to start getting really intentional with wisely choosing how to allocate my time, and to what end. I refuse to continue "haphazardly spending my soul" on the things that don't really matter that much in the end.

Chapter 4: Sometimes I Make It All So Complicated

Philippians 1:9-10 says, "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ." Lysa says, "God has woven into us the ability to discern what is best. Discerning what is best is something we're capable of doing as we layer knowledge and depth of insight into our lives." This is something that I want to be known for.  Just like the "wise woman" from the story of Sheba in the Bible, I want to have a reputation for making wise choices when it matters. I want not only myself, but those God has put in my life to benefit from my ability to discern what is best when decisions need to be made. To do this, I need to prioritize putting my "heart and mind in places where wisdom gathers, not scatters" as Lysa admonishes.

I also love how perfectly and accurately Lysa states, "Life has such a habit of stripping the feelings of power and significance right out of our scope with its constant daily demands." But she goes on to say, "That daily stuff- those responsibilities that seem more like distractions - those things we want to rush and just get through to get on with the better and bigger assignments of life - those things that are unnoticed places of service? They are the very experiences from which we unlock the riches of wisdom. We've got to practice wisdom in the everyday places of our lives. Never despise the mundane. Embrace it. Unwrap it like a gift. And be one of the rare few who looks deeper than just the surface. See something more in the everyday. It's there. We can learn right here, right now, in the midst of all that's daily how to become wise. As we wisely gain knowledge through everyday stuff, grasp insights through everyday stuff, and grapple with the development of our discernment through everyday stuff, we'll use what we have to our advantage by making better decisions." How easy it can be to get lost in the sea of the monotony of our daily to-do lists and responsibilities. I can't tell you how many dishes I wash or shoes I tie or noses I wipe or boo-boos I kiss, day-in and day-out. And it's easy to forget that those things matter. If I can be faithful in the little, God will entrust me with more. I think ultimately the choice is mine. To either look at my life and feel like its victim, like a buoy tossed about by the waves of constant requests and demands for my attention, talents and resources. Or, I can choose to look at everything as a gift. Right here, right now I have been richly and abundantly blessed. How can I take and use what I have to make a great impact for God's glory, in a manner that will enrich, fulfill and satisfy my soul? I don't think the answer to that question is too hard to identify when we are willing to change our approach and stop over-complicating everything.

What are some of the biggest things that impacted you as you read through these first few chapters of The Best Yes? Do you feel any closer to determining what a "best yes" may be for you in your life right now? Please share your thoughts, responses or questions in the comments box below! I can't wait to hear how each of you are learning and growing as we soldier on through this journey together! ALSO - don't forget to hop on over and join us on Instagram for further discussion in our weekly #mondaymorningbookclub chat loop!

Monday Morning Book Club: The Best Yes

A couple of weeks back some new IG and blogging friends decided to put together a Monday Morning Book Club and asked me if I'd like to join in. ABSOLUTELY! It's been ages since I've sat down to read a solid book myself, I always mean to,  I enjoy reading but certainly haven't found the time to do it much since becoming a mama. I know plenty of mamas who make reading a regular habit in their lives so I know its possible but for reasons beyond my comprehension it hasn't happened with me just yet.

So, when the ladies said what book we'd be reading I was all over it. Clearly I'm in major need of the authors wisdom. "The Best Yes"  by Lysa Terkeurst, is the read and I couldn't be more interested in what she has to say. I'm prone to saying YES to most everything out of a slight need to people please then regret my YES later out of sheer panic wondering how I'll carry it through. What is that about?!
I know I'm not the only one, especially as we are descending upon the Holidays when there will be a hundred different things to say YES to and a hundred different ways to make you want to pull your hair out. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover but this books cover says it all and invites me to partake of the refreshing antidote to the modern day social illness that is the need to please.  "The Best Yes" Making Wise Decisions In The Midst Of Endless Demands

Take a quick look at the bullet points from the back cover, realize you need to read this book with me and go buy your copy at Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

- Cure the disease to please with a biblical understanding of the command to love.
- Escape the shame and guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no.
- Overcome the agony of hard choices by embracing a wisdom-based decision-making process.
- Rise above the rush of endless demands and discover your Best Yes today.


Seeing as how I was meant to introduce you to this fantastic Monday Morning Book Club Last Monday and royally failed to do so because of all the things I've said YES to I obviously need to stop typing and start reading. Eek, I need what this woman's writing!!

Won't you join me, us, we? The lovely lady hosts of the Monday Morning Book Club and all the other brave and tired woman who join us in reading and discussing Lysa TerKeurst's "The Best Yes"! Check in here each week to read a recap of the chapters and our thoughts on the book. Also, be sure to join us on Instagram as me and the other hosts hold a  chat loop every Monday and subscribe to my email list to be alerted when the newest post is live!

DIY Bookpage Wall

if you follow me on instagram then you probably saw me post a pic with some old books a while back claiming a future DIY. this is what we did with them. it's not an original idea i know. i've seen these walls as backdrops on etsy sites. BUT, i figured it was a genius affordable idea for birdie's room in our rental house. i was originally going to apply wall decals in her room, which i enjoy + have used many times before in our last house. however i really missed having a wallpapered wall in her room + thought we'd give this a try.  

i didn't have an instruction manual to follow so i pretty much just went with my gut instincts when it came to the application of these pages. we're renting our home right now + for anyone who knows the woes of renting when it comes to wall styling it can be challenging. double sided tape is a miracle medium as far as i'm concerned. it manages to adhere to a surface remarkably well without removing the wall upon removal. it wasn't a difficult process at all just terribly time consuming. there's no science behind it + i didn't take any photos but removing the binding of the books + tearing out the pages is the first step.  

after you've removed the pages, i just ripped them out + allowed for frayed edges because i like the look, apply a piece of tape to all four corners on the backside of each page. then place on your wall + rub firmly to ensure security. then go, go, go until you're finished. we ended up using 3 books total, 6-8 rolls of double sided tape + about 4 hours to complete. i went with a two toned look selecting lighter + darker books + found that the books before the 1970s had the best paper coloring.

we're not entirely finished with her room yet. i'm still waiting on a sign i ordered from House of Belonging. but we're pretty pleased with the turn out for a rental space. 

Pepaw in the Coke Bottle Game

My Pepaw was one of my heroes. He was, in my opinion, the most brilliant, intriguing, consistent and joyful man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Let me tell you a bit about him because he's long gone + it's cathartic for me.

Born an only child to Cranton and Ruth Dye he was orphaned at the age of 12 when his mother passed due to complications from diabetes + his father sent him off to live with his aunt Lottie Maupin in Ohio. He grew up happy and well adjusted average build thin frame red curly hair and freckle faced. Pepaw received an engineering degree from Texas A+M in record time and later served time in the Navy during WWII (or was it the other way around?). No one know really knows too much about his NAVY stint, he didn't really share that part of his story to anyone who would carry it on. He had a passion for music which lead him to play the saxophone, clarinet and other instruments. Interestingly enough I played the clarinet for 6 years because Pepaw did and the only thing that made me last that long was my mother forbidding me to quit. As a pubescent teen I loathed it as an adult I'm glad she pushed me to do it, it built character in me and now i tap my right foot to find the tempo to most music.

The basement of his house was a playground for us kids growing up. Drinking ice cold Cokes and Vernors from the wet bar shot glasses as we pretended to be singing waitresses doubling as the talent. Performing for our patrons was a our duty. He had all sorts of music equipment and old polka, big band with a little Dolly Parton thrown in for good measure. I recall pleading with him to set up the microphones like everyday and he always complied. We learned how to sing  holler and perform for an audience shouting out 'Jolene' + 'Traveling Man' while he indulged us by documenting with his video recorder. Those times were good and dancing to the polka while standing on Pepaw's feet are some of my fondest childhood memories. 

Television was his profession, during the early years he engineering and oversaw the building of radio satellite towers. He worked with celebrities like Rosemary Clooney, Sheri Lewis and others. Pepaw brewed his own beer and wine for gracious sake storing it in the cellar and gifting it to family in friends. Apparently the man lived for his fermentation as I understand it although he had long given it up by the time I was on the scene. Ever the interesting type being a HAM radio operator  f o r e v e r  and insanely social worked for him. The guy never met a stranger and I can recall envying the confidence he carried when interacting with people. His smile + laughter + easy going 'life is good' approach to living were contagious to me. It's my goal in life to be  just like him. He didn't like for anyone to be in a sour mood. If you should be in such a place in his presence well, he'd gently help you shake it off with goof and laughter.

Incredibly crafty he was skilled in carpentry, could engineer, build and fix a n y t h i n g and did branding it with his signature 'R.K.DYE'. Which brings me to my point in writing.

Should it be going on during our stay, the Ohio State Fair was the place to go whenever we were visiting Pepaw and Memaw. There was a particular game that we'd practice at home in preparation for the Fair. The Coke bottle lift. Pepaw built a prototype and he'd mastered it. I enjoyed attempting it but never could get it right. Once we hit the fair it was game over. Pepaw would kill it e v e r y t i m e winning us the coveted BIG prize.

Ever since he passed I've held onto my memories of him close to my heart. the Coke bottle being one of them. It seems silly but every State Fair I've ever attended since I look for the Coke Bottle game never finding it. That was until Friday at the Texas State Fair. Making our way towards the exit at the Texas State Fair my eyes fell upon a tent housing a game no one seemed interested in. I couldn't figure out what it was at first glance but upon closer inspection my heart leaped within my chest. The Coke Bottle game!! 'Heyyy Becky Jo come on let's play' I could hear him say. I did. I felt all kinds of nostalgia and homesick. I still played terribly, didn't win anything, something's never change, but in my heart walking away I felt I'd won. Such sweet satisfaction in finding a lost old friend who reminded me of favored years gone by.

I miss you Pepaw. Thank you for your influence in my life. I can still hear the sound of your voice in my mind 'Becky Jo!' and feel your love in my heart. I speak of you often and remember you always. Whenever I make a new friend and strike up a conversation with a stranger or eat a Wendy's Jr. bacon cheeseburger and dip my fries in the frosty, you are with me. thanks for meeting me at the Fair.